Do Boys Actually Grow Up?

What does a mature male look like? What does he talk about? How does he dress? I would LOVE to know. “Boys take longer to mature than girls do” Is all I hear anytime I dare to complain about a boy to any adult. But when is that? What’s the magical age when this supposed maturity hits? Take my uncle for instance, still laughing anytime he sees a fat lady on the street the same way my 15 year old best friend does. Or my dad, who pays zero attention to me when I’m talking, not so different from my 19 year old brother. The whole “girls mature faster than boys” is scientifically proven, sure. It’s commonly observed in both cognitive and emotional development, especially during adolescence. But as a teenage girl, comparing my experiences involving boys to my mothers experiences when she was my age- which was around 30 years ago -upsets me, realizing that the idea of humanity progressing over time doesn’t apply to teenage boys.

What’s even more annoying is that adults will always say something like “oh he’ll grow out of it.” But then why is it expected for girls to grow into it way faster and sooner. We’re expected to be more empathetic, responsible, and mature from such an early age, while boys get excused for being the way they are. Now don’t get me wrong, there are definitely some mature boys out there. The rare few who don’t interrupt you mid sentence, actually offer their seat when there isn’t any left, and the ones who refuse to jump in on the s*** being said about girls. But why are they the rare exception and not the standard? And why are girls expected to be patient and understanding in the meantime? We shouldn’t have to wait around for some hypothetical made up future where boys finally catch up. Instead of asking when they’ll grow up we should start holding them to higher standards. Boys aren’t born to stay immature forever, people just let them get away with it.

Here’s the thing, maturing isn’t about age and getting older, it’s about taking responsibility, it’s about emotional growth, and it’s about making thoughtful decisions while learning from mistakes. And, newsflash, boys are capable of learning this just as well as girls. We shouldn’t have to wait around for them to hit some random age to finally act like decent human beings.