Why All the Romance?

With almost every TV show or movie I watch, I see characters starting unnecessary relationships. 

TV shows often add subplots with romance that I find to be distracting or add surface level drama to the show. Because of the influence this media holds, many young people can feel pressured to be in a relationship or might misinterpret signals from their friends. 

A New Roads student shares a familiar story…

“We were really good friends and I was like, ‘Wow, me and this guy are actually really close…he was there for me with a lot of stuff and we would talk a lot. We were really close. And I didn’t know for, like, a year that he had feelings for me and–maybe I was being oblivious–but I thought that I just had a good friend who I could just be close with and share parts of my life with.”

“Then I found out that he had feelings for me … .and he was like ‘Oh, you led me on’ and after I finally was like, ‘No I don’t want [to be in a relationship],’ he started saying terrible things about me and my friends.”

Stories like this one are all-too familiar, and it’s likely that the media we consume has more of an effect on us than it seems. Whether we are aware of it or not, the shows we watch the way we think and the way we see the world. 

Often, shows will only have characters date to move the plot forward. Are these stories so uninteresting that they need to add relationships and major romantic conflict? While it’s more expected to see the main character  romantically involved (even though it shouldn’t really be necessary), I also see most side characters develop romantic relationships, which I often find to be irrelevant to the plot. Even in queer shows, where the relationships aren’t exclusively between guys and girls, I usually find most of the main and side characters end up in a relationship.

Hulu’s Love Victor is a show that presents the viewer with numerous love triangles. Even though the show includes multiple queer relationships, it follows the same structure as heteronormative shows featuring overly complicated romantic interactions. Between the main and side characters, it seems like they’ve all had romantic/sexual relations with each other. Throughout the show’s episodes, Victor’s love interests include Mia, Benji, Rahim, and Nick; Felix’s love interests are Lake and Pilar; Lake’s love interests are Andrew, Felix, and Lucy; Andrew’s love interests are Lake and Mia, Rahim’s love interest’s are Victor and Connor. There are a few more minor relationships as well, but I’ll spare you. With all these relationships spanning over three seasons and only eight to ten episodes each year, there’s an unrealistic amount of romantic drama to keep up with. 

Left to Right: Love Victor’s Lake, Rahim, Lucy, Mia, Victor, Felix, Pilar, Benji, and Andrew (Photograph: Netflix).

Netflix’s Heartstopper is another queer show where the two main characters, Nick and Charlie, are dating. Hearstopper is primarily about their relationship, so it makes sense why their relationship is such a large part of the show. 

One romantic relationship I was surprised by, however, involves two people in the friend group, Tao and Elle. Besides a few moments showing them being affectionate and physically close to each other (something I personally am with my friends) I didn’t see it as a clear indicator of them liking each other. Displaying platonic love should be normalized in shows and movies. It’s unrealistic to show friends hugging or complimenting each other and expect it to lead to a romantic relationship; these are things platonic friends should be doing. 

Left to Right: Heartstopper’s Elle and Tao (Photograph: Netflix)

I often find that, if a show lacks substance, they will often add romance or sexual content to provide cheapened, shock-value content. Ted Lasso, a popular show on Apple TV, is a relatively family friendly show, besides the fact that they include a lot of sexual innuendos – and some are quite obvious as to what the characters are referring to. Since the show includes sexually explicit content, you might think their target audience are people who want to see racy content. But, I can guarantee, Ted Lasso does not do that genre justice. When shows or movies, such as Ted Lasso, intend their content to be family-friendly but also include sexually charged content, it fails to appeal to either group. But hey, it also won a bunch of Emmys, so what do I know! 

The Queen and King of making sexual content uncomfortable to watch with my family. Left to right: Keeley and Roy. (Photograph: Ted Lasso)

In real life, I find it slightly concerning when people don’t have friends of the opposite gender. I have one friend who is in his junior year of college and seems to only make friends with women that he wants to date. Another one of my friends doesn’t seem to make friends with cis men, which may be caused by her social anxiety. Being friends with someone who has a fundamental experience of being perceived as a man or woman provides a strong level of connection. 

It may be this lack of connection that prevents people from wanting to make friends with the opposite gender all together, or only make a connection if they want to date them. Being able to widen your circle of friends is important too. When we make friends who have different experiences from us, we create a broader life experience for ourselves and meet amazing people along the way.