Greetings From Gatlinburg

The observations of an L.A. teen visiting a deep-south National Park gateway town.

My family and I went on vacation to Tennessee this past spring break, which, when I told people we were going, was immediately met with many questions of “why are you going there?” and “for what?” Shocking as it may be, I have been wanting to go to Tennessee for years, and I was the one who has always been suggesting this trip. For some context as to why, my family and I are big national park people (I’ve been to 16), and the Great Smoky Mountains (which are in Tennessee and North Carolina) have been at the top of my list for years. We combined this with a few days in Nashville, for which my brother (a college student in Philadelphia) could fly down for the weekend. So, with a very fun weekend in Nashville completed, we packed up our rental car and headed off to Gatlinburg, Tennessee: the gateway town to the Great Smoky Mountains.

Entering Gatlinburg, my mom was the only one of us who had any real clue of what the town was going to be like (since she’s the one who plans the trips), and if she shared any of that information with us, we weren’t listening. I was expecting a typical national park town: a few restaurants, gear stores, outdoor adventure tour companies, and maybe a gun shop, depending on the state. Gatlinburg is what I can only describe to be the love child of the Jersey Shore Boardwalk and a Trump rally.

(Photo Reprinted from Hearthside Cabin Rentals)

The bustling town of Gatlinburg, full of tourists and excess, is set in front of the scenic Great Smoky Mountains.

There are three main draws to Gatlinburg: Dollywood amusement park, the Great Smoky Mountains, and the town itself. Dollywood is a Dolly Parton-themed amusement park, where “we celebrate the best of life as we light up the Smokies with rides, slides, music, food and laughter – day and night,” according to its website. While we were originally planning on visiting Dollywood one of the days we were there, upon realizing there was no Dolly Parton-themed museum (something that is much more our speed than roller coasters), we decided to skip it and spend more time in the Smokies.

(Photo Reprinted from Dollywood)

The waterslides in Dollywood loudly announce the theme park’s presence.

I would absolutely recommend the Great Smoky Mountains to anyone who asks. They’re very crowded and definitely a bit of a trek from LA, but absolutely worth it for their immense beauty. I personally think their 9th place ranking on Trip Advisor for best things to do in Gatlinburg severely undersells them.

(Photo by Caroline Crain/The Jaguardian)

A scenic view of the Great Smoky Mountains.

Then there’s the town itself, which has plenty to do, and is home to some “extreme” food offerings. Aside from the predictable barbeque, ice cream, and funnel cakes, there was The Crazy Mason Milkshake Bar, which sold extreme milkshakes that I, sadly, never had a chance to try because the line was always around the block. Another must-visit food stop was the Pancake Pantry, where we ate breakfast on our last day. While there was also a line out the door every morning, we got there right at opening, and were able to enjoy a morning meal that I can only describe as dessert. 

(Photo Reprinted from The Crazy Mason)

The Crazy Mason doesn’t just sell dessert, but a full three course meal in their milkshakes.

You can also enjoy a pretty typical amusement park/carnival/arcade experience. About half the town seems to be owned by Ripley’s and their various franchises, including Ripley’s Believe It Or Not, Ripley’s Aquarium, and Ripley’s Mountain Coaster. There is also the Gatlinburg Space Needle and Gatlinburg SkyLift Park, both of which give a great view of the town and the surrounding wilderness. 

(Photo Reprinted from Trip Advisor)

Ripley’s Believe It or Not! features the actual contract Ripley signed with the Devil to gain ownership of the entire town.

And, there is no shortage of shopping available. If it’s what you’re looking for, there are, shockingly enough, many hemp stores in Gatlinburg. While Tennessee has very strict marijuana laws, according to the cashier that my mom asked at a hemp shop we passed on our way back from dinner, there are loopholes to get around them. Upon further research, it seems that hemp-derived delta-8 THC can be sold, even though all other recreational cannabis items are illegal, according to The Tennessean. 

You can also visit one of the town’s many distilleries, which offer beer and cider tastings, or a typical tchotchke shop, where my little brother and I bought our collectable snow globes. There are some themed shops, specifically, conservative propaganda shops. Places like Michael’s Sportswear and many others feature Trump and Proud Boy flags, as well as t-shirts with jokes about stolen election, along with other random memorabilia. Then there’s the more targeted stores, such as The Trump Store and, my personal favorite, Blue Line Tactical and Practical.

(Photo by Caroline Crain/The Jaguardian)

Blue Line Tactical and Practical has everything you could possibly need, including Thin Blue Line flags and associated merchandise.

(Photo by Caroline Crain/The Jaguardian)

T-shirts targeted to the variety of demographics who might visit Gatlinburg.

(Photo by Caroline Crain/The Jaguardian)

The Trump Store, filled to the brim with all of his fans.

Gatlinburg was, above all, a learning experience for me. I was able to explore a part of the country that I haven’t spent much time visiting. Interestingly enough, Gatlinburg was one of the most racially diverse square miles I think I’ve ever been inhabited, just due to the amount of tourists and the wide variety of “things to do” in town. Gatlinburg wasn’t, and I don’t think ever will be, somewhere I go out of my way to visit, purely because that type of vacation destination doesn’t interest me, but it was definitely an experience that made this particular trip far more memorable.