The ‘Three Types of Hot’ for Hollywood’s Heartthrobs of 2023

From Michael B. Jordan to Pete Davidson, thousands of people are constantly crushing on famous men, freshman Lucy Dehnert takes it upon herself to objectify their hotness.

Throughout recent years, popular culture has seen a development in which male celebrities are widely viewed as heartthrobs. To put it in plain terms, they’re not all pretty. I’ve narrowed it down to three categories for the sake of examination. First up, the stereotypical “hot guy,” who stands at 6 ‘5 and casually flaunts a twelve pack and a seemingly hot personality to complete the pretty picture. 

Next up,  the guys who seem to be the whole package, minus looking like they just stepped out of a Calvin Klein underwear campaign. They are talented and cute, but not your stereotypical “hot guy.” 

Last and least, there’s the new phenomena of I-don’t-know-what. This category contains lanky scrawny dudes who haven’t quite learned about hygiene, properly fitting clothes, or sunlight, yet somehow manage seemingly impossible relationship feats while winning over the hearts and horniness of people around the globe. 

The apparent “new wave” of hot celebrity guys usually shares the characteristics of unkempt hair, slim builds, dark undereyes, a look of bewilderment or utter disinterest and, most likely, some form of weed in their pocket. In my opinion, the celebs who perfectly fit into this category are: Machine Gun Kelly, Justin Beiber, Travis Barker, and of course (the winner of this entire grouping) Pete Davidson, who, over the span of just four years, has managed to date Kate Beckinsdale, Kaia Gerber, Phoebe Dynever, Kim Kardashian, and Emily Ratajkowski. 

All of these guys must have amazing personalities as they all look like they’d steal your wallet and hit on your friends. 

(Image reprinted from The Independent)

Machine Gun Kelly (left) seen with Pete Davidson at the Big Time Adolescence red carpet event.

Of course, there are still plenty of obsessions with stereotypically “handsome” celebrities. There’s Henry Cavil, Micheal B. Jordan, and Chris Evans/Hemsworth/Pine, to name a few. They’re all tall, and ripped, with an apparent “handsome” personality to match their unattainable, god-like auras. 

And then, there’s the odd-man-out category, with celebs who just don’t fit into any of the aforementioned groups, but are still world-wide heartthrobs. Here we have Pedro Pascal, Timothy Chalamalebingbong, Benedict Cumberbun, Tom Holland, Cillian Murphy, Paul Rudd, and Joe Keery. All of these men share the same magnetic and endearing personalities that draw people in, along with massive amounts of talent, they really aren’t terrible looking either.

(Image reprinted from BuzzFeed)

Pedro Pascal interview excerpts from Entertainment Tonight.

Just as the beauty standards for women are constantly changing, the same can be said for men (on a much smaller, kinder, more inclusive, more diverse, less restricting, less enforced, less fetishized scale). However, the reasons behind this strange rise in demand for celebrity crushes who look like convicts is really, just a little, interesting. Is it due to quarantine? Drug induced mania? Or just an ache for something new? But as always, to each their own.