Satire Issue: Elephants Develop “Detusking” Ritual Amidst Rise in Poaching

Elephantologists from around the world have discovered a new phenomenon: the premeditated self-removal of the tusk, presumably to prevent local poachers from utilizing methods with higher collateral damage.

In the face of rampant poaching, elephants have begun to employ a new self-protective method. Dubbed “detusking,” the procedure entails the self inflicted removal of the ivory organ. In particular danger are African elephants, which have faced more poachers than any other species in the biological family. George Schrader, zoologist and author of Take the Tusks! A Guide to Ivory, confirmed the theory that African elephants were at the greatest risk of preventatively engaging in detusking rituals: “It appears that African elephants found in both Mozambique and Botswana detusk at a greater proportion than other elephant species throughout the rest of the world.” 

Detusking is a dangerous and undesirable practice for several reasons. Statistics released by the International Vigilance Operation Regarding Elephant Extinction (IVOREE) have noted thousands of annual deaths caused by what they call “self-removal.” The process involves a forceful pull on the tusk that often involves multiple elephants working together, using their trunks for grip, “not unlike a human removing a tooth by attaching it to a slammable door,” explains biologist Liv Gardner in a recently published study detailing the practice. 

More research is needed to fully comprehend the impact that detusking rituals have on elephant communities. For instance, initial studies from Abebe & Teklehaimanot have shown acute mental illness in detusked elephants, demonstrated through decreased social activity and negligence of basic survival activities in hundreds of observed members of the species.

“We assume that detusking either demoralizes elephants severely enough to disrupt mental faculties or that it has a biological effect that hasn’t yet been discovered — testosterone reductions, maybe. Whatever the reason, individual elephants refusing even to drink water is highly concerning,” explained the two researchers, who are based in Ethiopia, but whose research includes African elephants sprawling the whole continent. “Unwillingness to communicate with other elephants may also spell disaster in situations that require immediate collaboration, like when fending off predators or avoiding tour buses, for example.” 

Detusking seems to have one indirect benefit, though: the practice has given scientists a far deeper level of insight into elephant family relations. Schrader continues, “What we’ve also observed are elephant family gatherings in which adults teach detusking practices to their young, much like a schoolteacher might scold students for bad handwriting — it’s been the consensus that elephants are an intelligent species, but this level of cooperation and coordination amongst elephant populations is surprisingly even greater than that between most humans, adults and children alike. 

Future studies will reveal the complete extent to which detusking harms elephant populations, but even currently available evidence displays an immense threat to the animal. In any case, African governments must intervene to put an end to this inhumane ritual.