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Lose the F, Boy
Back in September, at a Yom Kippur breakfast with family friends, I was playing tag with an eight year old, who I have known since he was born. Let’s call him Timmy. As everyone was getting ready to leave, Timmy was chasing me, and while I was taking a break to drink some much needed water, Timmy hit my water bottle, spilling it on me. A dad from another family, not mine or Timmy’s, let’s call him John, witnessed the child’s callous insensitivity. John immediately said, “Tim
Caroline Crain '23
Oct 25, 20214 min read
Lunchtime Dress Down: Isolated Incident or Commonplace?
During the tense climate of 2020 students were left in the midst of political chaos, as they return in person Independent schools are finding that the chaos may be returning with them, courtesy of previously unrealized conversations. Along with COVID-19, 2020 brought with it a wave of political opinions and tense situations. The Black Lives Matter movement became more charged and with a presidential election looming in the background students were thrown into the middle of di
Katherine Contreras '23
Oct 25, 20215 min read


Jack on the Job; What Does it Take to Get Hired in Today’s Economy?
A senior takes to the streets to investigate employment practice in Los Angeles and whether the unemployed are getting a fair shake. There are only a few things you can find on Craigslist that won’t be scams or serial killers. One of them is resume building. Now I know it is suspect to consult Craigslist for something as important as a resume, but I was desperate. As a high schooler, I was eager to get a summer job, however I quickly ran into some trouble. I applied to eleve
Jack Adams '22
Oct 25, 20214 min read
Make Space for Headspace! But at What Cost?
Americans, young and old, are struggling with sleep. Millions of people are tossing and turning at night, trying to find a solution. Many are left with no hope, but others have turned to popular meditation apps, such as Headspace. It’s widely known that the Covid 19 pandemic has absolutely wrecked sleep schedules, from students to business owners. Sleep deprivation increases the likelihood teens will suffer from negative consequences, including an inability to concentrate, po
Gemma Singer
Oct 25, 20213 min read
NFTs: An Artist’s Nightmare or Next Big Break?
With a burgeoning market and massive rewards, NFT’s are quickly gaining popularity and monetary value. Artists and investors alike are taking note, but also eying a fundamental change in the way that we view and commodify art. NFTs have exploded in popularity, leading to enormous gains for savvy investors. The concept is far more simple than the hyper-sensationalized rumors paint it out to be. Put simply, NFT’s are easily reproducible items, typically an image, that someone p
Aloka Gent '22
Oct 25, 20214 min read


In America: A Lexicon of Privilege; Met Gala 2021 Disappoints in More Ways Than One
Self-proclaimed “fashion’s biggest night out,” the Met Gala is a fundraiser for the Costume Institute and marks the opening of the annual fashion exhibit. This year, “In America: A Lexicon of Fashion” was unveiled in the Anna Wintour Costume Center and will lead into “In America: An Anthology of Fashion” in 2022. Over 400 celebrities, from Naomi Osaka to Shawn Mendez, were invited to spend over $30,000 on a mediocre dinner (according to Keke Palmer) and a seven minute red car
Isabella Carbonari ‘23
Oct 25, 20214 min read
Satire Issue: Men Suuuper Peeved About Women Hating Them (Despite Being Cause of Every Problem Ever)
As women speak out against centuries of systemic oppression and abuse, men find themselves incurring unfair expectations to just literally be decent human beings. Some are upset. Since the dawn of civilized society, men have been ruining everything all the time always. From taking an evening stroll to basic morality, men are known to make everything terrible. Until recently, men have enjoyed a complete and utter lack of culpability for the global toxic environment that they h
Lea Zaharoni
May 12, 20213 min read


Satire Issue: Garcetti Promises to Deliver 3000 Additional Homeless People by 2022
Wiam Laldman | May 12, 2021 In the midst of the largest housing crisis in the United States, Los Angeles has been seeking approaches to end its homelessness problem. Under the advice of a broad coalition of experts and donors, Garcetti has proposed his latest solution: housing equality. The mayor has described his new stance by stating, “the problem with homelessness has long been defined by the fact that there is an imbalance between the number of L.A. residents who are hous
Liam Waldman '22
May 12, 20214 min read
Satire Issue: Local Dog Doesn’t Miss Hand That Feeds Him
Owner’s return to in-person learning leaves Buster home alone, at last. After a year of remote education, a local LA dog is finally home alone as his owner begins leaving for in-person school. “It’s nice to have some space. I can only handle so much cuddling and smothering. Now I can sleep on the bed without someone rolling around next to me,” Buster says, lying down on his owner’s freshly-washed sheets. “Plus I get to poop on the carpet again – without being yelled at in the
Nathalie Stefanov '23
May 12, 20212 min read


Satire Issue: Elephants Develop “Detusking” Ritual Amidst Rise in Poaching
Elephantologists from around the world have discovered a new phenomenon: the premeditated self-removal of the tusk, presumably to prevent local poachers from utilizing methods with higher collateral damage.
Ben Wasson
May 12, 20212 min read
Satire Issue: Horse S**t Working Conditions Attract Bullish Investors
Driscoll’s stock triples in value after first quarter report reveals sub-standard treatment of employees. Making a first quarter push to increase revenue and its corporate public profile, Driscoll’s, a California-based berry distributor already known for use of questionable pesticides and exploitation of its workforce, decided to double down — treating potential shareholders to a behind-the-scenes exclusive tour of their deplorable and entirely unethical facilities. “After re
Katherine Contreras '23
May 12, 20212 min read
Satire Issue: Screen Slaver
After a week of in person classes, one senior knows that there’s no place like home…. there’s no place like home… there’s no place..
Lola Newman '21
May 12, 20212 min read


Satire Issue: A Brave New Vaccine
Despite widespread concern, the latest form of mind control from Overlord Bill Gates may actually lead to many good results.
Mihret Melaku '21
May 12, 20216 min read


Satire Issue: “Think of the Children!” – Meet the Adults who are Legally Sanctioned to Stare At Your Kids’ Genitalia!
The Fairness in Women’s Sports Act is designed to keep sporting cisgendered. It may start going between the legs to make sure.
Jacob Witt '21
May 12, 20213 min read


Satire Issue: Woman Prepares Spaghetti Bolognese
A local woman researches ingredients, shops for, and cooks spaghetti bolognese.
Paige Homer
May 8, 20212 min read


Landowners Take Drastic Measures in Protecting Property Values from Homeless-induced Declines
In America, having unhoused people, sheltered or unsheltered, can drop the values of nearby properties and landowners are reacting.
Jacob Witt '21
Mar 23, 20215 min read


How Colonialism and Poverty Forced Madagascar to Reject COVID Vaccinations
“There is a long history that built distrust in general western decision making, that you have to assume exploitation in some way.”
Liam Waldman '22
Mar 23, 20218 min read
We Need to Stop Teaching 1984
George Orwell’s canonical classic fails to deliver in today’s English classrooms.
Nathalie Stefanov '23
Mar 23, 20217 min read


“Spring Breaker” Culture Threatens Return to Disaster
Through vaccinations and preventative efforts, America has finally begun a path of recovery after a full year of COVID-induced death and shutdowns. As Easter approaches, though, so does a seemingly innocuous phenomenon that may halt this revival: Spring Break.
Ben Wasson
Mar 23, 20214 min read


Gone Unseen?
Although Valassis’ ‘Have You Seen Me?’ ads are delivered to 60 million homes weekly, new-age technology has begun to make them...
Katherine Contreras '23
Mar 23, 20216 min read
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